I did the “Cabbage Patch” dance in my mind just now when I saw that I was referred from a site called, “Dailycoolthing.com”. I know its dorky, but when you feel your voice is going unheard and you think you are losing hope in a cause, it makes a difference to get a shout out from a complete stranger who read your deepest thoughts and thought enough to share them with others!
I spent a LOT of time reflecting this weekend about whether or not I am a good teacher, and I came to the conclusion that it doesn’t matter if I think I am a good teacher, or even if others think I am (although its nice when they do…). Ultimately, I have chosen teaching for some reason. I chose it, even though I was told explicitly that I would not be a good teacher. I chose it, even though I knew that I would not make a great deal of money, and would probably never receive recognition for what I did on a daily basis. I am not a silver lining person. I tend to try to see things as honestly as possible. Which is why I struggle with dealing with difficult situations, in teaching, and in life. I want to be positive, but I also want to be honest, with myself and others. The black and white lens, through which I view the world, may seem restrictive, but in many ways it allows me to understand that I will not always agree with others (and sadly they will not always agree with me) but more than agreement, I seek to do what is right. That’s why this blog means so much to me. It allows me to analyze and interpret my own thoughts and the thoughts of others while holding myself accountable for everything that I say and do. It’s easy for me to express my opinions and evaluations in a closed room, but difficult to click “Publish” at the end of a post and await a response… Any response signals success, because it gives me feedback. In considering transference to teaching, I always attempt to provide feedback to students so that they know that I care enough to give them a look when they say something rude, or have a conversation when they disrupt. By the same token, I have trained myself to verbally (and often physically) celebrate success in the moment because I know how much it means to hear/see someone caring about your work!